October!

October is not only breast cancer awareness month but also pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. October 15th is also pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.

I am so thankful for my 2 boys! I have lost 3 babies. It never gets easier but it gets better.

To every mother who has ever lost a baby whether its a 6 weeks pregnant or after the baby is born. This month is for you. You to grieve the loss of your child. To thank the Lord for the children you do have, and to pray everyday for the children you lost.

I believe everything happens for a reason, even if its not what we wanted. If it wasnt for 2 of my losses I would have my 2 boys here with me. And I cannot imagine my life without them.

Thank you lord for my angels and my boys!

33 weeks ago

My world changed forever.
33 weeks ago my 2nd baby boy was born.
It was a quick birth. A birth without my husband.
But one with my best friend.

33 weeks ago a tiny baby came into my world.
Today he is still tiny.

33 weeks ago I never thought we would be where we are at now.
But I am thankful

33 weeks ago he laid with o2 on him and struggling to breathe.
Today he can breathe just fine.

33 weeks ago I longed to have my husband share this moment with me.
Today he is here and its wonderful!

33 weeks ago I was thankful
today I am even more thankful

Happy almost 8 month birthday big boy!

Overcoming Stress.

Stress.....
Why Why Why?

I opened this blog for Cloth Diaper Reviews but after talking with our sons pediatrician she thinks I should Blog to relieve my stress.. So I am... If you dont like it.. Well dont read it haha!

I am so thankful for my boys and husband, but latley I am so stressed. I have like NO friends here. I cant wait to just get closer to home so that I can see my family and have some more help. I would love to just sleep in but feeding duties calls. And my husband works so much that we hardly ever see him. I guess its better then him being deployed though. I dont have time for playdates, yet I crave adult woman conversations and my kids playing with other kids.

I am not having a pity party or anything, Just need a way to relieve stress and trust me if you went through what I do everyday you would be more then stressed.

Tube feedings are getting easier. We are slowly adjusting to it. Trip knows when it beeps that we have to go check on bubby.

I never in my life would of thought this would be Coopers life. Praying for a weight gain, surgery, etc but I am so thankful for modern technology in the medical field. Without this he would be less then 10 lbs probably by now.

His PT says he is 50 percent better which means we are getting better! He is playing with toys, kicking around, etc. which he used to NEVER do.

Trip is a big help sometimes lol. He loves to give him his passy, and help throw diapers away. Such a sweet little boy :]

Halloween outfits are ordered and super cute! I just hope Cooper can fit into his. Well thats all for now.!

What a wonderful Day!

today we went to the dr and weighed in at 11 lbs 6.5 oz!!
That is the most he has ever weighed!!
Then we had Physical Therapy ( she has not seen him since his surgery) and she said he is 50 percent better then the last time she saw him! He is reaching for toys, kicking, touching his feet.!


Just a great day all around!

Joy!

Here are my babies tonight before bed!! They are such a joy to be around! We have our 2nd post op. weigh in tomorrow & we are praying we are at the 11 lb mark. Cooper is doing great, He is now up to 40 per hour on his continuous nightly feeds and hopefully tomorrow his stomach will be healed up enough to go up on our daily feeds! He is now a hungry boy and finally for the first time in 7.5 months knows what it feels like to be hungry and full~

I am slowly and I might add SLOWLY getting better. This bump in our life has taken the worst of me. I am his mom and should be able to make him always feel better and eat, etc. and when I couldnt it just broke me into a bitter person. I am still slightly bitter at kids his age who can sit, crawl, etc. , but I know in time we will be there! My mom says I always love the "baby" days and I just got to keep mine a baby a little longer then others.

My mom being in this past week helped tremendously. I was able to catch a little much needed rest an she was able to help me get into a routine with our new life as I call it.

I have found a hobby that I love. And it is designing shirts! I am going to start selling the shirts in the next few weeks but for now I am just selling the designs! It will be a great way to help me do something for myself!

It is bedtime in this house for all of us :]

What a change a tube makes

This is one little happy guy! it has been a little over 2 weeks since our gtube surgery and I can honestly say hes a totally different kid. He is all smiles and a few laughs. He even eats sometimes by a bottle! We are eating baby food too!!
He isnt sitting up or trying to at all but we will get there! We are just thankful he is doing as well as he is! We have 6 weekly dr appts. so forgive us if we dont have time to do things with you or playdates.
We have gained 3 ounces and go back Wednesday to hopefully see 11 lbs on the scale!! The most he has ever been was 11.4 lbs.

This is a long hard journey but a totally worth it ending!~!

A totally different baby!

A little over a week with the feeding tube and we have a totally different baby on our hands.
Praise the Lord!